It is rainy and glum outside- perfect test taking weather. I can't wait to take my test, not because I'm good at taking tests or because I enjoy taking tests but because I think I'm going to do super well. I guess there are pros and cons to taking BU night classes. I mean, for one thing, they're not for actual BU college students so they only meet once or twice a week, and in the evenings. Also, there's no homework or paper writing, just tests. I don't quite know whether to count this as a pro or not. Sometimes tests destroy me, other times they are a blessing, because all you have to do is study! No research, no drafting, just good old fashion notecards and diagrams. However, there is a lot of pressure to do well on the tests because there are only about three tests a semester, and those three tests are THE ONLY THING that counts towards your final grade. This test I'm about to take tonight will the second of the three. I didn't do so hot on the last one because I didn't want to study very much. Hmm. Must have been a binge weekend. Also, since the professor said she'll drop the lowest of the three test scores, I figured I could get away with one stinker. So that leaves me with just two. I've crunched the numbers, and according to my calculations, in order to get an A or an A- at the end I can't get less than an 85 on the test tonight. I just don't know what I'll do if I don't do well. What if I studied all the wrong shit?
On top of all this, I've had a knot in my stomach since this morning. I don't think it's related to test anxiety... maybe it's a peptic ulcer. I deserve a peptic ulcer :( Luckily, the tummy problem has not interfered with my meal or snack consumption and I've been able to eat healthily and normally all day. I think we're on Day 5 or Day 6 of the new and improved lifestyle? Wow! Almost a week. ohmygosh in a few days I will have gone exactly ONE WEEK with absolutely no behaviors whatsoever!!! That includes restricting!