Wednesday, November 10, 2010


I want more than anything to write a coherent post right now, but it feels like little gremlins are tunneling through my uterus as we speak.

So I missed another MEDA support group this evening. I feel awful actually... it's just that by the time I got home from work all I wanted to do was watch last night's episode of glee with my sister and scarf down a nice big bowl of coleslaw. Plus I have lady pains in my lower abdomen! I know that if I really wanted to go to group I would find the energy and motivation to go. Sometimes I'm reluctant because every time I go I get triggered and depressed and fat. You heard me. Going to group makes me fatter. And, since I've been doing so well on my new recovery kick I don't want to risk catching urges or behaviors from the other girls. I know that sounds terrible it is pretty selfish and I'm sorry. I enjoy the listening part and the helping people part, but it's the afterward part that's just no fun at all- when I'm left with all the stories and sadness of what I've heard. Maybe next week I'll be mentally stronger.

My parents are going away tomorrow with Jake to look at colleges in Maine. Ha, that brings back memories. I HATED looking at schools. Guess it was my reluctance to leave home and become an adult that made the whole idea of going to college so unappealing. Look how much I've grown since then.

You got the sarcasm, right? Anyways, they won't be back until Sunday or something like that, which means I've gotsta watch little sis while everyone is away. Not a problem. I look forward to many long discussions we'll have about the latest Disney channel movie.

Evening snack for tonight: A cheese stick and Motrin

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