Saturday, January 22, 2011

Ugh, who cares.

I don't really feel like writing but I didn't post anything yesterday and I feel bad going two whole days without making an appearance in the blogosphere.

I'm feeling... not so much depressed but more apathetic. Apathetic and bitter. I'm in one of those moods where all I can think about is how unfair my life is so I might as well not try anymore. God wouldn't it be wonderful to just never have to try EVER AGAIN. I would just stay in bed and never get out (except to go to the bathroom and get the door when the chinese food delivery man comes), and there I would remain for the rest of my life. I love sleeping. Sleeping is like crack for me. Did you know on days when I don't have to work during the day I just sleep in until early evening? And then when it's time for me to wake up and walk over to the store it takes every fiber of my being to drag my sorry ass out of bed. That is what my life has come to. But it's okay, it's all okay. I've decided that from now on I'm just going to go through life without caring about what happens. I'm going to become a soulless automaton that just goes to work and goes to class and nothing else. I'm just so tired of having feelings and thoughts all the time and know that sounds ridiculous and even sort of immature but seriously I just wish I could be done with it. There should be some kind of warning label on life, don't you think? WARNING: Not suitable for the faint of heart.

How, do you ask, am I going to just escape from reality and desensitize myself from the world? Haven't quite figured that out yet... but so far I imagine it would involve sleeping even more than I already do, and then distracting myself with crossword puzzles during the waking hours. Crossword puzzles are great for when you just want the world to disappear. Same with running. And frozen yogurt.

I think I'm about to get my period. My head hurts, my back is killing me... pretty much my entire lower half feels like a beaten pinata. Only no candy is involved :(


  1. I hate to break it to you, but normal people do NOT spend the entire day in bed. That's depression!