Thursday, January 6, 2011

Another WW post. I'M SORRY!!!

AAAAaaaaah! This Weight Watcher's thing is killing me. I binged today, just like yesterday, and like yesterday, I tried to at least keep the binge within my points limit for the week. Lol it's so bad, you guys. I had breakfast at home, then came to work and binged on frozen yogurt. And then of course I couldn't have lunch and won't be able to have dinner because I went over my points for the day AND used up some of my weekly allowance as well. HAha now I only have 4 extra/treat points left this week. I guess technically, since I'm still staying within the plan, it's possible I could still lose weight this week. I'm supposed to weigh myself weekly and enter it into the tracker but I'm taking a stand and saying no thanks. Actually, when the computer said I needed to enter my starting weight, I JUST GUESSED. I have no idea how much I weigh right now so I just picked a number that seemed accurate, then added five pounds just to make sure. I'd rather go over the real number than under, you know? Anyways, I really don't want to weigh myself at the end of this week so I'm just going to say I lost two pounds when Sunday comes. Who knows? It's possible. I don't think I'll start actually stepping on the scale until I'm sure that I'm losing weight and the number won't be too horrendous. In the meantime, I'm just gonna keep feeding WW fake numbers and hope they are close to the real ones!!

So now it's almost 5:30... I'm still at the store- closing tonight actually. Closing by myself. Yesterday I thought I was closing too but actually Tulan came and said I could go home. That was nice. So once I got home, I spent most of the evening journaling and then around 10:30 I felt like being in a romantic and contemplative mood so I watched The BBC mini series of Jane Eyre. God, I love that story. I've read the book five and a half times but I'd never actually seen the t.v. version. It was sooooo good but also a major tearjerker. I cried pretty consistently throughout the entire movie, and the saddest part was I wasn't even all that sure what I was crying about. Was it because Mrs. Reed was so abusive to Jane as a child? Was it because Jane is so clearly in love with Mr. Rochester but she knows he's her employer and nothing could ever happen? Who knows what makes me cry. This happens sometimes though. I don't cry very often from things that happen to ME, but every once in a while I have a conversation with someone or I read a book or watch a movie or hear a story and I just LOSE IT. It's like a garbage land-fill type situation. At first all the trash collects in separate bits and pieces in the kitchen garbage can, but then by the time it builds up and the dump truck takes it away to the land-fill it's all one heaping pile of unrecognizable detritus and nobody knows what it used to be. Does that make sense? The metaphor made sense in my head.


  1. Hey Eliza,
    I'm sorry that you binged again and seemed to have gone over your daily points! :/
    At the same time, I don't think that you really shouldn't be too restrictive with this program. If you go over a few points for the day or even the week, who cares?
    It's unhealthy to skip meals even if you do overeat at times. I hope you have the strength and confidence to keep it up & focus on recovery and healthy eating rather than losing weight!
    <3 Haley

  2. Thank you, Haley! You're so right about the focusing on recovery. I get so lost in my obsession with weight loss that I often lose sight of what's important...