I can't wait to see Marci tomorrow morning. Is that sad? I can't help but think that this increased eagerness to see my nutritionist every week is just a sign that I'm becoming more and more helpless. Every Tuesday I go in for my session, with lots of stories, questions, and a ton of new disordered thoughts about food that I've managed to delude myself into believing. For instance this week, I've come to the conclusion that bruised fruit must be less healthy for you since it's brown and nasty. Same with old carrots and lettuce with gross spots on them. If it looks different from the average vegetable it mustn't have anything good in it, so I just skip it as an exchange that day. Come to think of it, I've been recently feeling this way about cheese too... you know how sometimes cheese has hard spots on it if you leave it out for an hour or so?
Anyway, I guess I also feel like since I only get to see Dr. Gordon twice a month I need to make the most out of my appointments with Marci. Which makes sense I think. Also, I can start going back to the support groups at MEDA on Wednesday evenings now!!! I'm so happy because I thought I was going to have a psych class on Wednesday evenings but it turns out the course I signed up for was like waaaaaay more than I was expecting. It's basically a class for fourth year students who are writing their senior papers for grad school and I really had no idea that's what it was. We were going around in a circle saying our majors and what branch of psychology we were planning to go into. I was like uuuuhhhhh... and just made up some random shit because I figured I wouldn't be coming back after that night anyway. Somehow I ended telling everyone I was majoring in criminal justice and wanted to be a forensic psychologist and they were all like, "Wow, how ambitious! You have to have a great deal of empathy and understanding to work with patients like that..." Then I said I was especially interested in that field because my background in the biological sciences had taught me much about the human brain and the many intricacies behind aggression and law transgressing behavior. It was kind of funny actually.... the professor was like, "That is fascinating! Sounds like you already have your research topic for this semester!" Then I said I had to go to the bathroom and went home.
So now I'm down to just the one class... statistics on Tuesday evenings. Booo. I was looking forward to taking what I THOUGHT was a general health psychology class but I guess that's out the window. Maybe I'll find a different class and just join late. Or maybe I'll take on more shifts at work and make lots of money. Well, I'll decide later.