Ever since I started this blog in February I've been debating whether or not I should make another one of my maladaptive coping mechanisms known to the world. Like the bingeing, I don't really like talking about it because it makes me feel self conscious and afraid of what people will think of me. It's only happened a couple times since I got home in December and I've managed to cover up most of the evidence with friendship bracelets and hair elastics.
I WANT to tell the people at program that it happened again but the thing is I'm scared because I signed a contract at the very beginning of treatment saying that I wouldn't harm myself in any way. If I tell them they'll overreact and put me in a higher level of care which is ridiculous because I'm not suicidal I'm just a person who was dealt a really shitty hand in life and I don't know how to manage my emotions.
I feel like I should make a joke right now. Lemme go find one.
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says ‘What the hell was that all about?”
Anyways, I don't really know what I should do. Watching Fargo again.