Wednesday, December 15, 2010

>:(

ARgh I'm so angry I could spit. I was stuck working at the stupid ice cream store until 6:30 and I'm supposed to get off at 5:00. I missed group at MEDA and now I have to wait another whole week before the next one. I'm especially pissed at my boss Tulan, who said she wouldn't be back any later than 5:30, and then bada bing bada boom she's an hour late and I've missed group. I hate her. I hate myself too actually- for not being more assertive. I could have called her cell and checked in, you know? I could have been like hey when are you getting back...?

The worst part was that when she finally did get back, she was all apologetic and stuff about being late and I said, "Oh, it's no problem."

Then she said, "Really? I thought you had to be somewhere."

"Yeah but it doesn't start until 7:00 so I'll still be able to get there." LIES! Why couldn't I just have told her that yeah I actually missed a pretty important thing and next time I really do have to leave before six o' clock!? Why am I such a dweebus?

I got really anxious and impatient while I was waiting for her, so I started munching on some cracklin' oat bran. Just FYI- I'm not one of those employees who just sits back and guzzles toppings and chocolate syrup when customers aren't looking. Quite the opposite on most days actually... I don't eat very much at work. But I was super hungry and frustrated so I ate like two and half cups worth of cracklin' oat bran and then stopped because I felt like I was entering binge territory. Now I'm home and I feel less anxious but I'm also skipping dinner to make up for the "binge." I put quotes around binge because two and a half cups of cereal isn't very much. It's not even enough to qualify for a dinner really. But I'm afraid if I let myself have anything else to eat tonight I'll lose control and just go hog wild. Hog wild. Get it? Hogs? Pigs? Das me.

4 comments:

  1. sorry you missed your meeting. You have to speak up next time. Um, you need to eat dinner b/c that was NOT dinner.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Babe- you deserve to use your voice, you can and it will be respected of you. And sweetie- you know this , 2 1/2 cups of cereal is not enough for dinner but now I'm being a total hypocrite... just try babe. You'll get through this and can do this.

    xoxo
    -Lisa

    ReplyDelete
  3. Blurhg I know. Thanks for the reminder though guys.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've done the same. With the people pleasing thing, well and the cereal thing too. It happens but I would tell her. It will be hard but you will a better person for it.

    I hope you feel better tonight.

    ReplyDelete