Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I'm cold

It's totally freezing outside and the little weather box on my laptop says it's going to snow but I'm thinking about going for a run. The reason I haven't decided yet is because.... actually two reasons. The first one being, I haven't felt like running in months so I don't know if this is an unhealthy exercise urge, or if it's a genuine desire to move my legs and let off some steam while rocking out to Freddie Mercury on my iPod. I hope it's the latter! So in order to determine weather or not this is eating disordered, I am going to wait an hour and then if I still feel like running I'll go.

I saw Marci this morning. It was a good session and I had a good week to report (just the one binge episode the night Heather slept over). We went over my meals and snacks and I was surprised when she told me I wasn't eating enough. I was like.... "Uhhhh... have you met me?" I thought my food consumption was rather adequate, at least on the days when I'm not bingeing. Then she reminded me that despite my disgusting rolls and thunder thighs I actually have a history of restriction and anorexia and that's why my idea of portion sizes is so screwed up (by the way I added the part about my rolls and thighs. Marci would never say something like that).

My work schedule is going to be really shifty and erratic for the next month or so... with all the holiday hoopla and going to New Hampshire with the family for New Years. Also things will have to change when I start my next round of BU night classes next semester. I don't like this. I fear change. I like my schedule the way it is- crazy double shifts on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, with a super long weekend to relax. It works for me.

I have to babysit tonight. Not for the McHorribles thankfully! Maybe I'll blog about how my run went after they go to sleep. If I end up running, that is. Wish me luck :)


  1. You're nuts if you go running. It's too freaking cold out!!


    and hun, I've seen your fb, YOU DO NOT HAVE the body you described. That's fuckin ED talking. You can do this. Trust the professionals. I know it's hard but trust them. Be strong babe. I believe in you.

    Good luck baby sitting- I do not work well w/children ...by the time the parents come home- i'm ready to throw the child back at them if they aren't already asleep. haha

    love you babe,

  3. yeah I kind couldn't feel my arms or legs out there

    OH GOD those facebook photos are from last year!! I'm actually thirty pounds heavier now :(

  4. Way too cold for movement! It got down to 32 down here yesterday. I was so friggen cold.