Thursday, March 25, 2010

Lets kick this mother

Okay guys, now I know you've heard me say it before and I know it's probably starting to sound repetitive and blobby- but I have to start working harder at this recovery thing because I'm losing the battle right now. I just cannot stop binging. I feel like that little girl in The Exorcist. The devil possesses her- one day she's just peeing on the carpet and the next she's throwing up all over people and her head spins around 360 degrees.

In a couple minutes I'm going to sit down and fill out a weekend planning sheet so that I can stay nice and in control until Monday. Does anyone have any advice? I mean obviously I have my list of DBT coping skills and my mom is a super awesome support for when I feel urgey but I feel like it might not be enough.

Tomorrow at program is going to suck since I'll feel like restricting after today but you know what? That's what I get for being such a fucking idiot.

Anyways, thanks everyone for putting up with my crap. This blog must be awfully frustrating to read. It's like, "JUST GET BETTER ALREADY!!!!!!!"


  1. It's not frustrating. I really think you would better benefit from an inpatient program though. I really think that would be very good for you.

  2. You know I agree. My family's insurance is a bitch though and I doubt they would cover residential treatment.

    On the bright side though, it looks like I'll be in the day program for at least another month. So the treatment might take longer than if I were to do inpatient, but at least I'll be moving along a little bit each day. I have to hope so anyways.

  3. Seriously, I know I tell a lot of people about this, but you should call and see if you could go here.

    Free inpatient if you qualify for a research study. The docs there are top notch too!!

  4. I think it's wonderful you are out here, to share your path of recovery. I love to follow you on your path. U will be fine!!!

    Have a good day!!


  5. Thanks, girl!! I'll use all the support I can get... :)