I've decided to stop bragging about the good days I have because it seems like after every happy post, the following one is hopeless and relapsey.
Today I flipped out about how much I ate last night so I called in sick to program. The worst part is I essentially purged through fasting and a tiny bit of exercise. This is serious, people. For the past few weeks, even though I've had occasional binge episodes, I was really trying NOT to compensate for them. When you compensate for a binge, either by vomiting, exercise, fasting, or using pills, all it does is reinforce the binging in the first place.
Right now I'm on quite a starvation high so the reality of how stupid I'm being hasn't quite sunk in. It's going to take every fiber of my being to eat dinner tonight. I haven't decided if I'm going to yet. I should though.