Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Bad food mood

I AM EXHAUSTED. I never thought a day that involved so little exercise could be this draining. The commute to program in the morning wasn't bad, but I was forced to wake up at 5:45, starving- so I was running on empty for two hours before breakfast.

Can't say I did any better on the meal plan today. I may have actually done worse. At breakfast I prepared myself a big bowl of cornflakes with 8 ounces of soy milk and an apple. I thought this was sufficient but apparently I was still missing a fat exchange so the supervising counselor helped me portion out some almonds. Anyways, being the cowardly and conniving little brat I am- slipped all of the nuts into the sleeve of my sweatshirt throughout the meal and tossed them later. I did the same thing at lunch with a cheese stick.

Needless to say after the restriction I was feeling pretty hungry and by the time I got home was hit by this HUGE urge to binge. Then I felt terrible because obviously I'd set myself up for this. Anyways, I practiced some progressive muscle relaxation and after about five minutes I decided to have a cookie flavored luna bar and that seemed to suppress the urge. I give myself 3 points for the successful utilization of program skills but minus 10 for all the cheating I did throughout the day.

5 comments:

  1. Atleast you're aware of it.

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  2. Ya I feel like an asshole though.

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  3. So you have to tell them what you did. My T has something called an integrety list that she makes me keep. Good and bad things go on it and I have to read it to her. It was hard at first but it worked very well.

    Do it right, stop cheating! I know it's tough but you can do it. I have faith in you!

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  4. I agree with David. Be honest with them. They're not going to punish you. I'm sure that you're not the only one who does this.

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  5. Yaaarrrrs I know, I know. I marked the restriction on the diary card that I handed in today. I just need to muster up some faith and TRUST that the meal plan will be good for me. Maybe if I get more compliant they'll gimme back my exercise.

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