Sunday, February 21, 2010

Grumble Grumble

Can't say there's anything new to report in the past few days. I'm feeling unenthusiastic and fat after bingeing three days in a row this week but I don't think going into detail about it would make me feel better. Yesterday was detox though. This is what I call the day AFTER a binge-- gross and bloated but still craving sugar. I literally had to pay my little sister to follow me around all day and make sure I didn't attack the cookie jar or sneak off to the grocery store to buy candy. I'm such a junkie.

Anyways I got a part time job as the Assistant First Day School Coordinator at my family's Quaker meeting. Did I mention I was raised a Quaker? We're not super religious but I've gone every Sunday ever since I can remember so I thought a job in a familiar setting might be good for me. Basically it's putting out supplies for First Day (Sunday) School, buying snacks, cleaning up. It sounds easy but there are like a million little things I need to remember to do and I almost always forget at least three. It sucks. Today this woman came up to me and said something like, "Oh Eliza dear, there was practically no juice in the classrooms today and the children were EVER so thirsty..." My first impulse was to tell her that juice is essentially just sugar water and that kids would be better off drinking regular water or low-fat milk but then I remembered that most people don't put as much of their thought/time/space/energy/lives into obsessing over that sort of thing so I just gulped and said sorry.

Doing well with the no-weighing-myself thing. Although I can't say it's all that difficult because even if I could step on the scale I have absolutely no desire to see what the number is right now. I suppose the next time I'll find out is at some doctor's appointment or another- which reminds me- still no news on when my treatment will start. Who cares though? More time to lose this weight.


  1. I was just going to ask you about the treatment. Guess you answered that.

    Do you ever think about if your behaviors will trickle down to your sister?

  2. Binges are bad but you don't have to let one lead to another. Just eat right the rest of the day and it will curb those cravings. When you don't get enough protein and you get too much sugar your body will want more of the sugar, it's a vicious cycle! You break it by eating right.

    Good job on not getting on the scale.

  3. Hey guys :)

    I do worry about little sis maybe getting weird about eating from me... she's like right at that age where puberty is looming ahead. I try to censor myself around her- like NOT go on and on about how I want to lose weight or how cookies are fattening. Ugh.. I've heard eating disorders run in families though...

    Eating Alone- I literally never knew that sugar was addictive until a couple days ago when I woke up post-binge and was like, "All I want is a plate of brownies for breakfast." Luckily it's out of my system for the time being... here's hoping I don't fall off the wagon again too soon.

  4. DON'T got nuts! Sugar is ok, just mix it with the other food groups and your body know's what to do with it. It's our crazy world where you get all this sugar but no protein and our bodies get a little confused. Well let's face it not a little sugar but a LOT!

    You can do this, one day at time, one meal at a time.