Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Bad Eliza

Today I had an appointment with a cardiologist but I slept through it. Whoops.

My heart rate is a little slow, which, according to the doctor, is probably just because of all the exercise I do. For people who work out a lot, it takes less beats per minute for their hearts to pump blood. So just to be on the safe side I was supposed to get it checked out.

So after I finished napping through a considerable health obligation, I went to see my therapist for our standing weekly meeting. I started seeing her when I was twelve for panic attacks, and since then she's seen me through bouts of anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, binge eating, anorexia, and now this. What is this? Anyways, she and I were wondering aloud to one another about why the bingeing in particular is becoming more and more frequent. I sort of casually confessed to having gone off my antidepressants about two weeks ago. "Why? Why would you DO that??" She asked. I shrugged. The truth? I HAVE NO IDEA. Sure, they taste kind of like feet and every so often one gets stuck in my throat and I have to swallow huge globs of peanut butter in order to force it down but STILL. Surely a few moments of discomfort don't explain why I'm skipping out on a medication that has helped me so much in the past.

Fluoxetine is a happy little drug, despite whatever gripes I may have. It works for the treatment of major depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, bulimia nervosa, and panic disorder. About a month ago my psychiatrist upped the dosage to 60 mg, and it was around then that I just sort of... stopped taking them. The worst part is, every time mom hands me the pills in the morning I end up hiding them in random places around the house- drawers, flowers pots, shoes. Not the best idea considering I have a little sister. And cats.



  1. Talk to the doc and see why he upped the dose. See if he can drop it back to what you felt more comfy at. Also that might be what's going on with the heart, an interaction cause you went off the meds.

  2. I hve the sm heart rate issue... did they say anything you could do about it?..besides quit..ive heard tht one ... They hvnt given me many options at the out-patient place i go 2

  3. hmmm.... I was told that a slow heart rate is normal if it's due to exercise as long as you're eating enough. Obviously it gets dangerous if you restrict calories in addition-- which I find myself doing all too often.

    I'm starting an outpatient program too! We'll have to keep in touch...