Sunday, September 5, 2010


Just finished clipping Georgia's claws. I feel a little stupid because she is after all, a guinea pig, and most pigs don't need at ton of grooming. Whatever. It's fun and I'm bored.

Tonight I made gorgonzola fettuccine for the family and it was quite good if I do say so myself. I've volunteered to cook more often since my mom is going back to work and won't have a ton of time to make dinner when she gets home in the evenings. Aren't I such an angel of a daughter? Plus I love food and it's a surprisingly good DBT skill.

Tomorrow should be my first Psych class... but I wonder... Labor Day is usually given off for school and work. Oh well. It's not until six so I have time to figure it out.

So I heard back from a possible candidate for my new head doctor. Her name is Dr. Gordon and she lives around here I think. I hope she's not pretty. I begrudge pretty doctors. They're greedy. It's like, is it not enough to have a Phd? You really need beauty to boot? I put the message she left me on speaker phone so my brother could help me analyze her voice and tone. She seems nice. She's quiet and soft spoken, maybe a little overly formal, but that's hard to determine without a face. Jake agreed with my assessment, but thinks she might be attractive.

"She sounds hot." He said. "Sorry."

I just want September to be over. You know that horrible Green Day song, "Wake me up when September Ends"? That's how I'm feeling. I've managed to go a week without bingeing but a week is not enough time to have lost all the weight I want to lose. I'm so done with being chubby. I've done the math though, and based on past experience, if I follow a moderately restrictive diet, it should only be one month till I'm normal sized again, two months till I'm thin, and three months till I'm skinny. God that's such a long time. I don't have that kind of time!

Yesterday I saw the movie Going the Distance, with Drew Barrymore and Justin Long. It was so cute and hilarious and not at all like other generic romantic comedies. I highly recommend it.


  1. Wow, that fettucine sounds really good!!

    I hope you can find a healthy medium between binging and starving yourself. That would be fantastic, wouldn't it? I hope the doc works out for you.

  2. You're sweet. A healthy medium would be fantastic, especially since bingeing and restricting usually lead to one another.

  3. Hey Eliza. Just want to say how much i enjoy reading your blog. The humour makes me see the sun in between the ED clouds.

    I alsohope you can find a 'healthy medium'. All roads tend to lead back to the ED unless they are based around normal eating patterns rather than shape conscious eating habits. Of course, since i am also in an ED boat, i understand that it is not easy to translate this into reality.

    I wish you well.

  4. Eliza,
    I'm sorry that you're not feeling comfortable with your weight, and that you are feeling the need to restrict. I wish I had some sound advice, but I don't want to be a hypocrite, since I'm currently in restricting mode. I wish it was easier to just eat in a moderate and healthy manner, but in my mind, it is all or nothing. I hope your doc is an ugly dog;-) You are right. It just doesn't seem fair to be able to have it all. You make me smile, analyzing her voice! Hope you have a great week.

  5. Desperately Seeking ME, thanks for reading!

    Haha thanks, Angela. Don't hesitate to give advice, even if it sounds hypocritical. Sometimes the best advice comes from those of us who are experiencing it. :)

  6. Wow, I wish you would come by and clip Oreo's back claws. They are HUGE!!! She is declawed in the front so I'm worried that if I try and clip her back feet she will freak out. I shouldn't she is so good and will just sit there and let me do whatever needs to be done. I had to get something off the side of her face, near her eye, and she just sat there purring while I was doing it. Talk about self soothing.

    You don't need to be supper skinner. If you are eating right your body will find the place it wants to be. Of course I'm thinking of losing some myself so don't do what I do, do what I say.

    Let us know how the class' are going!