I've been thinking about something recently. People are always telling me to get out there and be more social and have more friends and be less isolated, and until recently I thought they must be right. But you know, most people I meet just make me anxious and depressed about life. It's sad but true. And don't you like the way I phrased that statement? I could have been really insensitive and said something like, "most people are superficial and corrupted," but instead I made it a statement about myself- that way it doesn't sound accusatory. Anyway, the point I'm trying to subtly make is that it's not me, it's them. It's people! Every day that goes by just provides me with further proof that I don't belong here. And by here, I mean earth. Not to toot my own horn or anything (because we all know I'm severely flawed), but if I can have a compassionate and understanding heart, why do the majority of humans seem to be without one? I mean, even the people I care most about in the world aren't as nice as I wish they could be. My brother makes fun of me all the time, my mom is never at a loss for pointing out the areas of my life that I can improve upon, and I'm pretty sure my dad thinks I have some high functioning mental retardation. RRghh, it's so frustrating. But, that's why I limit my social interaction I guess. If you don't get close to people you don't have to risk being disappointed by them.
On the way home from work this evening I slipped on the ice and fell into a cold and soggy puddle. I wanted to cry, I felt so pitiful and alone. My arm was all scratched up and bleeding, my butt was soaked, and I dropped my mom's copy of David Copperfield in the snow. Do you ever have moments where you feel like you've hit rock bottom? Well this was one of those moments.