I'm having one of those awful ED thoughts that I'm sure are being supported by some faulty beliefs regarding nutrition and meals and stuff. Here's the gist of what today has been like (and if you'd rather discuss this in our session next week that's fine): This morning I had to wake up way earlier than usual, 6:30 to be exact, because I had a babysitting gig at 8:00 and I wanted to have breakfast and do some other stuff first. I knew that since I was going to be running around a lot today going from job to job I would probably need more food or whatever so I was good about that... and I actually had lunch at 11:30 because of how early I'd eaten breakfast so I challenged the time rules there and that was okay. Subsequently then, I had dinner early too, at a quarter to six and then I had a frozen yogurt for my dessert, which I'm also going to count as my evening snack I think. Here's the problem/horrible thought: I should have had the frozen yogurt later in the evening because I'm staying here until ten and then walking home and now since I've just blown everything by hitting all my exchanges before even six o' clock, I'm going to be hungry in four hours and have to eat more which goes over the meal plan and I would have been able to avoid that hunger if I had I just delayed my dessert. I suppose I could just try and tolerate the hunger but that seems restrictive.
Is this true? Would I be less hungry in a few hours if I'd just eaten the froyo at like eight or something? I'm confused. Angry and confused. Hey! At least can identify the emotions properly. Karen R. Wutzherface would be so proud.
Anywho, thanks for reading. I think just writing out this e-mail has helped me feel a lot better. See you on Tuesday!!