I've decided to stop bragging about the good days I have because it seems like after every happy post, the following one is hopeless and relapsey.
Today I flipped out about how much I ate last night so I called in sick to program. The worst part is I essentially purged through fasting and a tiny bit of exercise. This is serious, people. For the past few weeks, even though I've had occasional binge episodes, I was really trying NOT to compensate for them. When you compensate for a binge, either by vomiting, exercise, fasting, or using pills, all it does is reinforce the binging in the first place.
Right now I'm on quite a starvation high so the reality of how stupid I'm being hasn't quite sunk in. It's going to take every fiber of my being to eat dinner tonight. I haven't decided if I'm going to yet. I should though.
You should eat...and then be honest about everything tomorrow.
ReplyDeletePlease eat. We're all thinking about you, and are all sending you positive vibes to get you through this, I know how rough an difficult it can be. Eat, even if it's a little bit.
ReplyDeleteLove you
Frida
Remember that sliping is something that happens. They know it and can help you. Let them help you.
ReplyDelete