Kill me

I have the worst stomach ache right now I can't do anything besides think about how much it hurts. I can't read, I can't watch t.v., I can't sleep, I can't move around, I can't even remember what it feels like to have a stomach with no pain in it.

I woke up at 6:30 this morning because I was hungry, so I had a bowl of cereal. Then I went back to sleep and woke up at 10:45... and I guess that's when I started feeling sick. At first I thought that maybe I was just hungry again so I had a piece of toast but that didn't help. Then I drank 8 ounces of Pepto Bismol, it went away for a little bit, and I went grocery shopping with Heather. Came home, thought it was safe to have lunch, so I had a greek salad and 5 saltines. Now it's back and I have no idea what to do except complain.

I wish it wasn't just me and Heather for the next two weeks. I thought it might be nice having the whole house to ourselves but I just feel very lonely and fat. At least we know I won't binge today because my tummy starts writhing in agony every time I put something in it.

What on earth possessed me to stay here and work when I could have joined the rest of my family in cheery cherry fun land? I've gone with them every other summer. Have I really gotten so depressed that I can't even handle the semblance of happiness? Remember I'm still going in a couple weeks... but by the time I arrive mom and dad and Jake and Rachel will be back in Boston and it'll just be me and Aunt Sarah. Oh and John. It just won't be the same. The farm just isn't the same without everyone there. And now I'm freaking out because I just realized I won't actually see my family again until October! I'm driving straight back to NYC from Michigan with Aunt Sarah. This is too weird.

And now I'm thinking about my stomach again. I reeeeeeeeeeealllly want to be able to work out today so hopefully I'll make a miraculous recovery within the next few hours.