I fell asleep on the couch last night, and woke up this morning at 10:30 with my glasses taped to my face. I think my brother is jealous that I get to take time off from school because he's been pulling these random little stunts pretty often. A few days ago I woke up with a pile of dirty laundry on top of me, and a soggy pancake on my face.
Hungover and achy from last night's Girl Scout Cookie binge. About a month ago I ordered like forty dollars worth from my ten year old sister (impulse control is not my strong suit), and they just came yesterday. Anyways, everyone is either at work or school right now so I tried to soothe the loneliness and anxiety with a box of tag-a-longs for breakfast but of course all that has managed to do is assault my body with more refined sugar and carbs. Damage control now. No food for the rest of the day. Hour and half on the elliptical.
I'm hoping that writing about what's happening will make it easier somehow. I've kept journals and diaries before, but I have no experience with blogs. This is new territory for me...
1st rule of Eating Disorders,
ReplyDeleteDO THE NEXT RIGHT THING
That means that even if you binged you have to the next meal right.
That means that you don't overcomensate by exercisering.
That means that you dont get to starve the rest of the day.
Are you trying to do this alone or do you have a treatment team or therapist you are talking to? ED's are not something that you just get over on your own. It's scary asking for help but it will help.
The next right thing. I so wish that I had the emotional courage to follow that advice right now.
ReplyDeleteI'm starting an outpatient treatment program next week. Next Monday to be exact.
Thanks for reading and listening! It's helping more than you know...
If your doing that then you are doing the next right thing. This is where it starts. Remember that there will be up's and downs but you can make it through.
ReplyDelete