The fucking bunny is still after me

Here is something weird- sometimes when I have a bad day with lots of urges and I end up giving into them, I feel really guilty. I obviously feel guilty about the behaviors but there's the another part of me that's always like, "Don't do that! You'll just end up blogging about how crappy it makes you feel then the few people who read your posts and try to believe in you are just going to give up because you're failing too much!!"

I'm saying this because I came home today and I was really urgey. There was all this leftover Easter candy and cake in my mom's bedroom and nobody was home so it was like the perfect opportunity to go on a bender. I was able to delay the urge for about an hour. That's good, right? Usually I cave immediately and just start stuffing my face right there and then but I really didn't want to binge today so I tried really hard to do something else. I watched Project Runway, but that made me feel shitty so I switched to facebook, which made me depressed. Then I realized that my leg muscles were sore. This is why I decided to skip the gym today because I don't like to work out on sore muscles. I guess being sore and feeling shitty got the best of me cuz I binged anyways. That makes two days in a row.

It's just hard because before yesterday I had gone almost TWO WEEKS with no behaviors and now I just feel like I'm slipping again.

Anyways, I'm just worried that the bad stuff is outweighing the good now and that makes me sad because I'd like for this blog to have a happy ending.